More Summer Fun

We have been kid free for nearly one week and in that time I have been a complete and total bum.  Yes, I did some chores.  Some laundry.  Some grocery shopping.  But what I've mostly done is read, and Pin, and nap, and read, and maybe Pin a bit more.  I'll admit I needed the down time and some space to unwind but I feel like a sloth.  

In order to placate my sense of guilt I did my chores this morning, made a batch of granola and decided to post some more summer updates, photo journal style.

Celebrating the 4th of July

Zoo for AniBelle's birthday

Visiting Mom & Dad at the campground

Summer movies

Family beach day at Millennium Park

Bowling with the whole gang

Third Annual Bauer/Chase Trip-Chicago Bound

Eating in (not so polite) style at Ed Debevic's

Best father/son shot of Tod & Cam-photo by Jimmy

Whew!  We've had an amazing, busy summer and it's not over yet.  My kids come back next weekend and then it's time to cram in some more summer fun in between back to school shopping & way too many registrations and orientations to attend.

Family Traditions

One of the things that is important to hubby & I is that we build fun family traditions to share with our kids.  Some traditions are small and simple, like going to church every weekend or having pizza every Friday night.  Others are typical like having a family game night.  What are some of the traditions your family has?

Thanksgiving is HUGE in our family.  We start the morning out with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.  Then while I start the meal, hubs gets the Christmas tree out and starts to put it together. 

When we have Jimmy's girls for Thanksgiving, it's Rain's job to stuff the turkey. 

Yeah, her dad thought it was pretty darn funny...mainly because he won't touch raw meat. 

Ani bastes the turkey

Anii & Dez help Daddy put the tree together

Another tradition is that we have a football/pumpkin party every year with some of our closest friends.

 

She swears it tastes just like chicken!  Ewwwww

Then there is the same crew for a Christmas party that may or may not involve messy cookie decorating and ornament making....depends on the host!

While I'm on the topic of Christmas, we have the Christmas tree cinnamon rolls.  This was a tradition I grew up with and I love carrying it on for our kids.

And a tradition that Jimmy & I started with the kids...Jesus' birthday cake!

The reason traditions came to mind is that I'm going to start a new one with my baby girl tonight.  A brilliant (I think!) idea that I, of course, got from Pinterest.

I picked up this adorable notebook at my favorite store today and wrote a short letter to Ani in here.  I've slid it under her pillow & when she gets home from Youth Group tonight, I'll let her in on the secret.  We can take turns writing to one another and hiding it under our pillows.  I think it will be a great way to keep our relationship as close as it is now and it will be a great memory for her to have when my time comes.  She can share the idea with her daughters if she is so blessed to have them.  

The Fifth Commandment

"Honor your father and mother, so that you may live in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

Our church just recently finished up a series on the Ten Commandments and our pastors did a fantastic job making each Commandment applicable to our lives today.  Going into this series, I knew the one I would struggle with the most was Commandment number five.  Please understand that I love my parents deeply but my mom & I have a rocky relationship.  

Right about the time that the sermon series on the Ten Commandments began, my mom & I had a falling out.  This in itself is not unusual...one can never tell what will set her off. The only difference is that the falling outs have gotten worse in the last few years.  My mother is ill. Mentally.  I am not being sarcastic when I say that.  She is bipolar as both her brother and father were.  This problem is compounded by the fact that she refuses to get medical help and that she uses her illness as an excuse to act worse than she really is.  She reads things into situations that aren't really there, hears words that aren't spoken and puts her own twist on nearly everything.  Our largest problem is that she has an unexplained loathing for my stepdaughters.  She imagines that I treat them better and love them more than my own two children and she resents them for that.  Mind you, she lives three hours away and has only seen us all together as a family maybe 8 times in the last 7+ years so how she has come to this conclusion I have no clue.  

We had a horrible falling out over the 4th of July last year where she said some horrible things about my youngest stepdaughter.  It was bad enough that my husband & I packed our kids up at 1am and  made the three hour drive home.  We did not speak for a month and then gradually started speaking but mostly it was her calling me to yell at me (not only at home, but she would call me at work as well).  She accused me of picking my stepdaughters over her but admitted that she was trying to force me to choose.  I explained that she would not like my choice.  The Bible tells us to cleave to our spouse and my stepdaughters are part of the deal.  I love them like they were my own kids.  Our relationship was strained for months and in December she told me that she had written me a long letter that I would not like because it told me what an ungrateful and bad daughter I was.  Shortly after that, I nearly died from meningitis and that seemed to completely change things.  Mom acted as if that strife had never happened and things went back to normal.

Of course...that never lasts.  She got angry recently because she tried to tell me what to do with my kids in a certain situation.  This is pretty commonplace for her.  She feels that she has the right to tell me what to do.  I don't mind her sharing her opinion on what to do, but she cannot tell me how to raise my own kids.  I told her that and it degenerated from there.  She was calling me names and telling me that I never loved her....and so on and so forth.  I did my best to keep my temper.  I continually try to act the way God would want me to but it is so very difficult in light of the things she says and does.  Shortly after this conversation ended, she called me back to tell me that my Dad had overheard and didn't agree with her so he left for work early.  She said that they were getting a divorce and it was all my fault so she hoped I was happy.  See....another reoccurring theme in our lives is how my mom is convinced that my dad & I always side against her and love each other more than we love her.  I've heard this from about age 10.  My Dad & I are very close, but the problem is that we are both pretty logical while she is very unreasonable.  This is why it appears that we are taking sides against her.

A week or two goes by and then she starts to act as if nothing had ever happened again.  Even though she said horrible things and then went two weeks without speaking to me, it was back to the status quo.  In the meantime, during the two week period, some big news came up that I shared with my Dad.  Since Mom wasn't speaking to me, I didn't talk to her about it.  I also assumed she would hear from a different source because she usually does.  By the time she started speaking to me again, it was old news and it didn't cross my mind to share it.  Yesterday in a phone conversation with my Dad, the subject was brought up and she realized that we both knew and didn't tell her.  Here we go again.....

Dad called to warn me but I didn't hear from her.  She ended up calling after 9 last night and I just wasn't ready to deal with it emotionally so I let it go to voicemail.  She of course left a harsh message about how she is excluded from this family and how furious she is.  After that, she called my daughter's cell phone repeatedly.  My kids are in bed by 8:30 on a school night and it bothers me that she was trying to bring my baby girl into this.  I need to call her today but man, I have no idea how to handle this situation.  God made it clear that we are to honor our parents but how do I honor her without allowing her to treat me poorly or run my life?  

"God states no qualifier.  He does not tell us to honor them only if they are honorable.  Simply because they are our parents, we must treat them with respect.......Granted, honoring parents can be difficult if Father is a drunk or Mother is a lying thief.  Their actions may sometimes be dishonorable, but because they are Dad and Mom, they are to be respected.  The Commandment has no loopholes."  From Bible Tools 

I'm sorry this vent is so very long but it has been on my heart and mind since her call yesterday.  If anyone out there does read this....please pray for wisdom and discernment for me so that I may say the right words and respond correctly.  Please pray for peace for my Mom.

Thanks! 

Where to start?

To begin at the beginning...well that would be silly.  Not only would it take AGES but really, who wants to hear all about me growing up as an only child in a small Chicago suburb?  All there is to know about that is that I had a happy childhood (even when my parents forced me to move to the Mitten) and that I was raised as a loyal Bears fan.

Now that I'm all grown up (still living in the Mitten and still a Bear's fan), I'm loving the life of being a mama & wife.  My amazing husband, Jimmy, & I have a blended family with four children and two pugs (who are just like toddlers if you ask me!).  

We have our oldest, Rain, who will be 16 this fall.  Ugh!

 Then we have pre-teen numero 1, Aidan, who will be 13 in February.

And our second pre-teen, Desiree, who will be 13 next May.

Then comes the baby (this was taken post-Halloween, she is not normally allowed to wear makeup), Annika, who is 11.

 And finally, our toddler pugs, Fiona & Panda

Now here's to hoping I can actually keep up with this blog.  I always have the best of intentions but life tends to get in the way.  Our family has been on a wild ride for the last year or so and it doesn't show any signs of slowing down.  So if you are so inclined, feel free to join us on our journey of faith, love, family, chronic illness and Laffy Taffy's (those are a story for another blog)!