Trusting in the Lord

This morning I was tagged in one of those Facebook posts for a 7 day scripture challenge.  For the  next seven days, I have been asked to post a favorite verse and tag two new people.  Several years ago, during a very tough time in my life, I had a mantra.  Isaiah12:2:  I will trust and not be afraid.  The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation. When times got scary, I would repeat that verse over and over again because I couldn't even articulate prayers.  And that brought to mind how often the Lord took care of me when I saw no light at the end of my tunnel.

We found a lump in my breast.  Trust in the Lord.  It was only a cyst.

I was informed that I had Chiari Malformation.  Trust in the Lord.  It is very minor and currently causes no problems.

My husband got laid off.  Trust in the Lord.  The company I was working for at the time hired him and he is still employed there.  They have always been great for him regarding my illness, very understanding when he has to leave at a  moment's notice to take me to the hospital.

Needed new tires but couldn't afford them.  Trust in the Lord.  A friend had four new tires put on our van.

Money was tight and food was scarce.  Trust in the Lord.  An anonymous card arrived with a $300 grocery gift card.

I was hospitalized four times with no answers.  Trust in the Lord.  My rheumatologist figured out the problem and gave us hope for a solution.

Our stove and dryer both died in the same week.  Trust in the Lord.  A friend bought us a stove and another friend gave us a dryer.

Early on in my illness, I wasn't able to do simple every day things.  Trust in the Lord.  Friends and coworkers provided meals for over a month straight.  

I started chemo treatments and needed rides back and forth. Trust in the Lord.  Friends have provided rides back and forth for all of my rounds of chemo.

Sjogren's Syndrome has ruined my teeth and made me very uncomfortable out in public and with strangers.  Trust in the Lord.  A friend has offered to do all of my dental work for FREE!  Praise God!

My medical debt grew to scary and seemingly insurmountable levels.  Trust in the Lord.  A friend has started an online fundraiser to help with the debt.  

My newest challenge is leaving my family for three weeks to go to Germany for my dental work.  I am stressed and scared about the thought.  My family, especially  my husband, has always been my port in a storm.  I am leaving my husband to do both his job and mine during a season of particular busyness with concerts, orthodontics appointments and a crazy robotics schedule.  

I know what I need to do to get through all the fright and stress.  Trust in the Lord  

 

 

Bedroom updates and a DIY craft desk

In all of the years we have lived in this house, and all of the room updates we have tackled, we somehow always skipped our master bedroom.  Now that the chemo treatments seem to have curbed some of my crazy hospitalizations, I finally decided enough was enough and began to work on our room.

A few before shots

It is not quite finished yet (I decided to retain my sanity and only paint one wall at a time) but here is a sneak peak into the progress.

 In addition to painting the room and adding new curtains, I also built myself a crafting table (one my bestie is entirely too envious of!).

 

 The desk was very easy to make.  I took two 6 cube ClosetMaid storage cubicals from Target and a 2x4 project panel from Home Depot that I painted black.  Viola!  I debated on using Liquid Nails but for now, I just have the 2x4 resting across in case I want to move the desk in the near future.  If I need more stability I will use Liquid Nails and some screws.

There and back again......

A chemo tale....  

So...even though I really meant to do much better at my blogging, here I am.  Almost two months since my last post.  Have I ever mentioned the kid fast-forward syndrome?  Once I had kids, it was like my life was on permanent fast forward.  The older they get (and consequently the busier they get), the faster my life seems to fly by.  This year we have a senior in high school, two eighth graders and a sixth grader.  The first six weeks of school was filled with getting back into the swing of things, after school programs, cross country practices and meets, robotics, youth group, retreats, bible studies, etc.  Now that most of those things have settled down and we've ditched a few of them, life seems to be evening out.  Of course, that's when I got to start my next round of chemo.  I did round 1 of the infusions two weeks ago and it was not pretty.  They increased my dosage and I was hit pretty hard with some awful headaches, shaking and nausea.  I did my second infusion yesterday so we're praying that the side effects are better this time.  It usually takes 2 to 3 days to start seeing the worst of them so we will see how I feel tomorrow. 

In the meantime, I've had a few fun projects and activities.  Our baby girl is starting to grow up and will be a teenager soon so we decided it was time to make her bedroom a little less girlie.

Before

After

  

We did the updates while she was at a retreat for church last weekend and she was so very shocked and pleased when she came home.  I still have some art work for her walls that we need to craft and hang.  We are also going to get a few of these baskets to store her stuffed animals in.  She has finally pared her stuffed animal collection down to the bare bones...the ones she or we bought for her on our trips to Florida, her Nightmare Before Christmas ones and her Skelanimals.

We surprised my parents with a 40th wedding anniversary dinner.  They knew we were taking them out but we added some of their best friends to the guest list.  It really made their night.

And finally, one Saturday while Aidan was at robotics Jimmy & I took Ani to Rockford for their fall festival.  It's such a beautiful little town.  I could totally see living there once the kids are out on their own.  

I'm looking forward to the next few weekends and the fun they will bring.  This weekend my bestie & I are getting together with our daughters for a day of crafting.  Then Ani's new BFF will be spending the night and we'll go see Monsters University after church on Sunday.  The following weekend both of our other daughters are planning on coming out to join us for our annual football/Halloween party and then after that is Halloween at Abby's and then the Michigan/Michigan State game at Lea & Tod's.  I do love the fall...the time of year, the holidays and the time we spend with our friends and family. 

Sjogren's....the gift that keeps on giving

My posts have been few and far between lately, and since God has blessed me with a meningitis-free summer so far, there has not been much health news to report.  But, with Sjogren's Syndrome being the wily autoimmune disease that it is, it would be too much to hope for a completely symptom free summer.  Sjogren's symptoms include dry mouth, dry skin, dry eyes, and at least in my case, reoccurring aseptic meningitis.  My worst symptom by far this summer is dry eyes.  My left eye is currently so dry that the vision is blurred due to erosion on my cornea.  See, I don't produce enough tears and tears are what removes the grit from underneath your eyelid.  If my body is unable to remove that grit with tears, it scratches my cornea giving me blurred vision and an uncomfortable sensitivity to light.  The ophthalmologist is not able to get me in until October so for now I'm continuing to use eye drops, ointment and warm compresses for comfort.

 Beyond the dry eyes, lately I've been suffering from insomnia (which goes hand in hand with my Fibromyalgia and which is why I am wide awake at 2 am on a Tuesday night) and some meningitis symptom flares, mainly headaches and nausea along with some dizziness.  At the end of last year my rheumy, Dr. H, decided that my next course of treatment would be Rituxan, a chemotherapy treatment used in some cases of lymphoma and rheumatoid arthritis.  Understandably, I was concerned about the idea of an IV chemo treatment (I was already on the pill form of Methotrexate) and I sought a second opinion from a rheumy in Ann Arbor.  My pesky little B cells are the reason Rituxan was recommended.  It is theorized that the B cells in my body are somehow egging on my immune system to continue to attack my body which results in the meningitis.  Rituxan is supposed to deplete my B cells and give me a period of less systemic issues.  The negative (well beyond the obvious whole chemo thing)?  It does not permanently deplete my B cells.

 Yes, it's true, they do make an E-Card for absolutely everything!

This informative article discusses the relapse rate (about 80%) for those who are treated with Rituxan.  My rheumy explained that my treatments would be once, two weeks apart, every six months.  We are now nearing the end of my first six month period and that is likely the reason I have been having so many symptom flares as of late.  After my first round of treatments, I started to feel hopeful and definitely caught a case of selective memory.  Now I recognize that this is likely my reality for a very long time, so I just need to get used to the ups and downs.  I can bear any ups and downs as long as I remember that God is with me and will be my strength in all things.

I can do all things through him who gives me strength.  

Philippians 4:13 

Rituxan Treatment #1

It came as no surprise to me that I was up bright and early yesterday morning in preparation for my first chemo treatment.  There was no way that I was sleeping since I was a nervous wreck.  Not knowing how I would feel or my body would react to the treatment was nerve wracking.  It was evident that I was a bit worked up when they first took my blood pressure which was 151/105.  

Everyone at the infusion center was very nice.  They put me in a private room which was a bonus since I ended up sleeping most of the day away and I never would have been able to do that in the main infusion room with all the other patients, their noises and the TVs going.  I warned the nurses about my veins but I don't think they took me too seriously until they actually tried to tap a vein.  Apparently the center has a rule that each nurse only gets two shots at getting a vein and then another nurse needs to try.  Thankfully I only went through two nurses....on the fourth poke they struck gold (or blood as it were).

 All set and ready to go!  They started me on a 20 minute drip of Solumedrol and then we moved on to a 20 minute drip of Benadryl in addition to taking Tylenol orally.  Once all the pre-medication was completed, they started the Rituxan drip.  The way they do the drip is that they set the IV to stop every 30 minutes so they can take vitals and increase the drip.  The pharmacist explained that a person's body would revolt if they tried to infuse the Rituxan at the rate of a normal IV right off the bat.  They have to slowly increase the drip to allow the body to adjust to the medication.  

I experienced my worst side effects within the first 30 minutes.  I tingled all over and felt really nauseous.  Once my body adjusted, I only had chills, a slight temp and a sore throat.  They stopped the IV for 15 minutes when I complained of the sore throat.  Apparently they don't mess around with any side effects!  It went away and didn't come back until the very end of the IV. At the end, I had a slight headache and the sore throat along with some serious exhaustion.  From start to finish, the Rituxan took 5 hours.  Once the IV was done, I had to wait another hour for observation.  I was finally able to leave at 4:30.

It was a long day...arriving at 8:45 and leaving at 4:30.  I am so very glad that my rheumy chose the two week infusion instead of the four weekly infusions.  I go back on March 4th for my final treatment and then I have 6 months before my next one.  

After arriving home yesterday evening, I was mainly experiencing exhaustion with a sore throat, nausea that came & went and a slight headache.  I went to bed toting my trusty puke bucket but thankfully, did not have to use it. I don't have much of an appetite at the moment but that won't hurt me much.  Other than the lack of appetite, I am still bone weary with a sore throat.  I know that most side effects show up within 24 to 48 hours of the infusion but if this is the worst of it, I am so blessed!  

Sjogren's Syndrome with Neurological Involvement

For anyone who has been with me on this blogging journey, you know that I have been dealing with reoccurring aseptic meningitis.  For those of you who are just joining me, I suffer from Primary Sjogren's Syndrome (read more about that here) with neurological involvement.  Sjogren's (or SJS for short) is primarily an autoimmune disease that attacks the moisture producing glands in the body.  This may not sound awful but imagine having such dry eyes that your corneas are scratched and you can't see.  Or not producing enough saliva (which is what keeps your enamel on your teeth) and having severe tooth decay.  Not the end of the world but highly uncomfortable and a big blow to someone's self-confidence.  

In my case, in addition to the aforementioned symptoms, I also have reoccurring aseptic meningitis.  Since December 2011, I have had meningitis 8 times, and have been hospitalized 9 times.  The biggest challenge is that none of the doctors who have seen me, either in or out of the hospital, have ever seen a patient with this problem.  For my first three rounds of meningitis, the doctors assumed it was bacterial even though my lumbar punctures were coming up negative for bacterial, fungal or viral meningitis.  After my third bout of meningitis, I just happened to see my Rheumatologist for my semi-annual check up and we discussed this odd problem.  He told me that it was a rare but possible side effect to my SJS.  At this point, he put me on Plaquenil in the hopes of suppressing the SJS and therefore stopping the meningitis.  In April, I was hospitalized again and the doctor switched me to Cellcept.  While I was on Cellcept I was hospitalized in October so then I was switched to Methotrexate which is a pill form of chemo.  I was hospitalized shortly after that for a second time in October.  By the time I was hospitalized in December, both my Rheumatologist and the Rheumy in Ann Arbor that I went to for a second opinion decided that the Methotrexate wasn't doing me any good.  This is when the Rituxan was ordered.  It was scheduled for mid January but I was hospitalized the day before my first treatment.  

I was finally feeling well enough to schedule my first IV infusion and that will be starting tomorrow morning.  We're praying that the treatment works and that there aren't too many side effects.  According to my research, there still isn't much known about these SJS related CNS issues and they have not yet proven the efficacy of treatments like Rituxan (see here) but we will keep praying.  My friends and family joke that I am always the exception to the rule, and that if something weird can occur or go wrong, it will happen to me.  Let's hope that isn't the case with this chemo treatment!

Ups and Downs

The last few weeks have been pretty uneventful health-wise.  I've been feeling really well, all things considered, minus the ever present exhaustion.  Thursday and Friday of this week laid me pretty low, with nausea & headaches but I seem to have rallied this morning which is a good thing.  I start chemo on Monday and since I am not sure how I will react to it, I'd like to get the house cleaned, laundry done, food prepped, etc. in case it knocks me out like the pill form did.  Other than that, I saw my neurologist this week and after looking at my MRI/MRA he gave me the all clear.  My brain looks great, especially for all that it has been through in the last 14 months.  

Beyond the medical stuff, life has been busy and good.  My oldest became a teenager on the 6th.  Where did the time go?  

He went from this:

To this:

He's grown into such a wonderful young man, I am so proud of him!  There are times when I catch myself wondering how their birth father & grandparents could walk away from them.  How could you even want to miss out on all these glorious childhood & teenage years?  What could ever possess you to think that not watching your kids/grandkids grow into their own personalities would be a good idea?  **sigh** I just have to let it go and be thankful that I am not the one missing out.

Other happy moments in the last few weeks included the beginning of a volunteer stint at church in our Refugee Ministry department and a sweet Valentine's Day dinner with my family.  I'm very excited about the volunteer opportunity.  I can already tell it's going to be fun and very fulfilling.  

I'm looking forward to a quiet weekend with my family.  Girls night with my littlest tonight and church with the family tomorrow.  God is so good!

Nausea & Me

Over the past year nausea & I have developed a close, personal relationship.  Meningitis, when it's in full swing, causes such a gut wrenching nausea that you get sick until there is nothing left inside your stomach, until the bile has burned your throat and scorched your tongue and all you can do is cry weakly in between bouts.  The poor nurses obviously feel horrible for me as they desperately pump Zofran and Phenergan alternately into my IV as often as they can.  The only relief comes when the anti-nausea medication works in conjunction with the Dilaudid to give me an hour or two of fitful sleep here and there.  I'm not sure if this reoccurring meningitis has given my stomach a predilection for queasiness but I am far more sensitive to certain smells and tastes now.  Foods that I used to love in the past need to be avoided at all costs and the scent of Jimmy's favorite meatloaf in the oven is enough to make me gag.  

Then there's the chemo.  For me, on the pill form, it causes a low grade nausea.  Something that's just stewing in my stomach and waiting for the right moment to flare up in full.  It's like that slight, but very annoying, headache that buzzes in the back of your head all day.  Now that I'm currently waiting for insurance approval of the IV chemo, I can only imagine that the nausea will be worse on a stronger dose like that.  We will see.  

In the last year I have also developed coping mechanisms to handle the nausea.  I have found certain foods that seem to settle my stomach and my amazingly wonderful husband is quick to run out for them at the first sign of nausea.  I was not blessed to have children with Jimmy but I just know that he would have been that husband that ran out in the middle of the night to get me Starbursts, Pringles and a container of cream cheese.  After the first bout of meningitis, the only food that I could eat was cold food such as a Frosty from Wendy's, salads, cottage cheese, pudding or yogurt.  It took nearly a year for me to start drinking hot coffee again and forget about eggs...I used to eat them almost every day but the idea of a scrambled egg now...blahhh!  

Meghan's Nausea Relief List

   1.  Zofran-better living through chemistry!

   2.  A Wendy's Frosty

   3.  A mocha frappe from McD's (are we sensing the cold, sweet, chocolately theme?)

   4.  Laffy Taffy's

   5.  A Slim 4 with cheese from Jimmy Johns

I can't tell you how many times Jimmy has dropped everything and ran to get one, or all, of these items for me.  I am one lucky woman!   

Has it really been a year?

A year ago yesterday was the anniversary of my first hospitalization for meningitis.  What at first seemed like an out of the blue case of bacterial meningitis soon turned into a medical odyssey.  As stressful, scary, frustrating and tiring as the journey has been I can't bring myself to regret it at all.  Without this medical drama, I may never have realized how truly blessed I am.  God has continually shown me how He provides.  He is indeed great!  

Last week my best friend & I took a little road trip to Ann Arbor to meet a new Rheumatologist for a second opinion.  It was comforting to meet a doctor who showed some urgency about the situation and seemed to grasp that a laid back approach just wasn't going to work.  She doesn't seem to think that the Sjogren's Syndrome is the cause of this and she ordered lots of testing to look for a possible Lupus diagnosis.  She also didn't think that the Methotrexate chemo treatment was going to make a difference.  She is leaning towards Cytoxan possibly in addition to Rituxan.  She wants to find a way to get me off of the steroids as it is obviously not ideal to spend this much time on them, especially at these high doses.  In the meantime, she placed me on Fosamax to assist in any possible steroid induced osteoporosis.  She has referred me on to a neurologist in Ann Arbor and also requested a new MRI/MRA.  

I am no longer content to wait patiently for another opinion though, and have a few other options brewing.  My neurologist in town here has ordered a special blood panel that tests for encephalitis.  The lab is scheduled to come to my house in early January to test me for Anti-NMDA Receptor Autoimmune Encephalitis.  I also have an appointment with my GP to get a referral to an Immunologist.  I have a fourth cousin who also happens to have SJS.  She recently saw both her Rheumatologist & Immunologist and brought my bizarre case up.  They were both stumped by the meningitis and highly recommended that I get a full immunologic work up to see if I have any issues on that front.  I'm also on the hunt for a new ophthalmologist....someone who will agree to permanently close up my tear ducts instead of placing punctal plugs.  My eyes are more dry than ever and the plugs are just a stop-gap measure in my opinion.  

Meanwhile....Christmas preparations proceed in the Chase house.  

  A picture of my food prep/baking list that needs to be completed before Christmas.  I suppose it's a good thing that the steroids are seriously cutting into my sleep time.  It gives me the time to bake.  My kitchen looks like a war zone....all the baking supplies and goodie bags stockpiled on every available counter space.

In addition to food prep and baking, it's been a week of volunteering, holiday concerts and doctor appointments.  On Tuesday I volunteered at the Angel Tree gift distribution at the Salvation Army.  Last year was the first time I had done it and I love it.  I hope that I am always able to serve in the capacity.  From there, I went to my baby girl's last holiday concert in her elementary school career which was pretty bittersweet.

 I may be biased, but isn't she adorable??

Yesterday was a doctor appointment for my little man and today is one for me.  Tomorrow is Aidan's holiday concert at school and I may have heard a rumor that he's appearing as Santa Claus.  I don't mind all the busyness....I'm hoping it brings Saturday here sooner.  We get our daughters on Saturday and then our family will be complete once more.  Saturday we'll be spending the evening with our chosen family and Sunday we will celebrate a Christmas Eve candlelight service at church.  I am so blessed to be alive and healthy enough to enjoy all of the bounty God has provided!
  

Catching up

As usual, time can get away with you when you've been spending too much of it in the hospital.  Last Monday was a very normal day for me....running errands and finishing up (thankfully!) our Christmas shopping.  We had our typical evening of dinner and cheer practice and my last memory is of cuddling in bed with the hubs, both of us reading and then me deciding I was sleepy so closing my Nook and heading off to the Land of Nod.  The next thing I know, I wake up in an ambulance.  The nice EMT was trying to get me to speak to him and tell him what my symptoms were...poor guy, I was of no help.  He tried tapping a vein because he could tell I was in desperate need of fluids but I was so dehydrated there were no veins to be had.  Talk about a twilight zone experience...to go from sleeping to an ambulance with zero recollection as to how or why you were there.  Once we arrived at the ER, I was put in a room right away and actually got a new nurse and doctor for once who weren't in on my bizarre medical history.  The poor nurse was trying her best to get a vein....but even the phlebotomist couldn't get one.  They happened to tap one but thought it was bunk because it didn't draw blood.  Thankfully I convinced them to flush it and try to use it for fluids because their next step was some sort of femoral shunt.  Needles?  In new places?  Without putting me to sleep?  No thanks!  Finally my husband arrived to clear things up for me.  Apparently, after falling asleep I woke up, told him to get me a bucket because I was going to be ill and then immediately slid down into the ugly abyss that is meningitis.  I was unable to speak almost right away, only being able to grunt and my arms curled in towards my body uselessly.  Jimmy put socks and shoes on me but once he stood me up, my knees buckled, I collapsed and he couldn't get me back up so he had to call the ambulance.  This was the most ill I had been in quite awhile and that is saying something!  I spiked a temp so they put me in a lovely torture device that was a mattress pad connected to a machine that made it ice cold.  And then they put me in IMC, where they usually stick me if I am conscious.  I was hospitalized until Thursday.  They treated me with the normal rounds of anti-nausea meds, Solumedrol (IV steroids), Tylenol for the fever and Dilauded for the pain.  I was happy to see that I had one of my favorite doctors on rotation....she is actually studying to be a rheumatologist and she's fantastic.  I also had a few visits from my neurologist and was able to talk him into getting me tested for Anti-NMDA-Receptor Autoimmune Encephalitis, a rare disease I recently read about that fits a lot of my symptoms to a T.  While I'm waiting for that lab to contact me (of course it can't be simple...it has to be a special lab that takes a special encephalitis panel that costs gobs of money), he also put me back on Lyrica and MY rheumatologist doubled my chemo dosage.  He is also in the process of trying to get me approved for IV chemo through my insurance company.  

After all the medical drama, we still had cheer Regionals this past weekend.  Yet again, I am reminded of how blessed we are in our friends and family.  Some of our friends brought dinner to Jimmy & the kids while I was in the hospital and prayed with them.  Another friend came over on Saturday to do Ani's hair and make up for the competition because I was in no way up for it.  And finally, a wonderful mom from our cheer team picked Ani up, took her to the competition and made sure to send me lots of pictures and updates!  

My husband has been amazing through all of this as usual.  He won't let me lift a finger.  He has been cleaning, cooking, doing laundry and running the kids around.  He soldiers through it all...even when I say "Aren't you going to put fabric softener in the wash?" or when he adds two cups TOO many flakes to the instant mashed potatoes.  He has this diabolical plan to keep me on the couch and in this house completely for the next month.  I tried explaining that I will need to get out just for mental health purposes....not to mention I have things I have to do!  

Cheer tonight, Christmas baking to be done, knitting and gift making, prepping food like frozen dinner rolls, breakfast burritos & meatballs, a second opinion appointment on Wednesday in Ann Arbor that my bestie is so kindly taking me to, volunteering for the Jaycees on Saturday morning and of course, no one and NOTHING is keeping me from seeing The Hobbit this weekend!  Truthfully....I can do about two of these things a day and still be a slug on the couch..he is going to have to get used to it! 

Family, food, fun and all that jazz

I've been slacking on keeping up with my blog lately but I will shamelessly use the chemo to excuse the absence.  Truthfully, the treatments seem to be falling into a pattern.  I take it on Friday night and am out of the running until Wednesday morning.  I spend most of my time in either bed or on the couch, dozing or full out sleeping my days away.  By Wednesday I am almost back to normal though any activity (such as grocery shopping) is bound to wipe me out and require a three hour nap afterwards.  

Beyond the treatments, the last week and a half has been full of parent/teacher conferences, cheer, a girls night out (dinner and the final Twilight movie with my bestie), lots and lots of food prep and baking for Thanksgiving, the actual holiday, putting up the Christmas tree, our annual tradition of watching The Grinch with the family, a 16th birthday party for our teenager, and a date with my hubby.  Lots of fun, good food and even better company was had.  

I made Pilgrim cupcakes

An Irish Cream cheesecake

And two pumpkin pies for the weekend.  

We always put our tree up on Thanksgiving.  The two youngest help daddy sort the branches and spread them out for ease of assembly.  After dinner, we let them have at the ornaments.  Of course...we always have to go back and do some rearranging!

Amazingly enough, everyone got along fabulously this weekend!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Life after the first treatment

I settled in last Friday night with some Laffy Taffy's (of course!), a few past episodes of the Duggars and my first chemo treatment.  I was nervous about how it would go so I escaped into someone elses crazy life for a bit.  About halfway through Michelle's birthday surprise show the side effects started.  I was extremely dizzy (good thing I was on the couch!) with a yucky taste in my mouth.  My lips were tingling and soon, I was just flat out exhausted.  I crawled into bed about an hour later and then the nausea began.  Thankfully, due to the advice I found online to take the chemo at night, I was able to sleep through most of the nausea.  I spent all day Saturday in bed....sleeping and reading while occasionally cradling a puke bucket (sad to say, this has become normal for me), but thankfully the nausea didn't get too out of hand.  I was able to eat bland food most of the weekend (couldn't manage dinner Sunday night but that loss of calories is certainly not going to hurt me!) and keep it down which was much better than I expected.

Fast forward a few days and it's the middle of next week, two days away from my next treatment and I'm starting to feel back to my pre-chemo self.  If this pattern holds, I'll have two days of feeling well each week and the rest spent in bed.  I hope my body is able to "push through" the side effects like some people I read about and that this isn't a lasting problem.  We are cautiously optimistic that we've seen the worst of it but I was told it could take two to three weeks for the side effects to fully kick in, waiting until the chemo was built up in my system so we will see.  For now, we've rearranged most of our social calendar to allow us to stay home on the weekends and we will just play the waiting game.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good.  Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him!" Psalm 34:8

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz

To buzz it off or not to buzz it off?

Ahhhh the days of my youth.  Back when my main consideration in a hair style was how much time it took me to do it...and I prefered NO time.  :)  This was my bestie and I...ohhhhh about 12 or 13 years ago.  Back when doing my hair consisted of pulling out the clippers once a week and shaving it all off.  I loved it back then but I must admit, I am pretty attached to my hair now. My husband is a big fan of it as well.  So when I got the call that I had to start chemo today....that was one of my first thoughts.  Should I just shave it off and save us the devastation of watching it fall out one clump at a time?  Really, that is such a minor consideration in the scheme of things but such is the human mind...grasping on to small details when the big picture is too overwhelming.