It is long past time that I resurrect this blog. It's been almost a year since my last post and oh so many things have happened since then. Our two middle kids started high school (ack!), I have hit my last year before the 40's, the Sjogren's is still going strong but God is always proving Himself stronger, and many blessings have come our way.
Let me start with the blessings. Recently our pastor asked us to send him an email about our "dry ground" experiences (Joshua 3 & 4-God parted the Jordan for the Israelites and as further evidence of His miracles, the ground under the Jordan was dry) and so I composed a short email of what I was grateful for and the ways that God shows His ability to provide "dry ground" in my life. My email:
When my
illness struck in 2011, I had no idea what a blessing the entire
journey was going to be. The first two days in the hospital I was
unconscious and the guys in Jimmy's mens group did a conference call
with him to pray over me. Even though the doctors couldn't tell him if I
was going to live, after that prayer, he had a peace beyond all
understanding settle upon him. I am grateful for those prayers and for
the fact that I did wake up. The blessings continued to pour in. Visits
(one friend even came to the hospital to paint my nails), meals
(Jimmy's company brought meals to our family every single day for a
month), prayers, a prayer shawl from our church family, friends who
cleaned our house and did our laundry, friends who drove our kids to
Chicago to stay with my parents during that first scary week, and a
friend who came and spent a week helping Jimmy take care of the kids
during one of my longer stays. After the first few hospitalizations,
work became difficult and so we went through about a year of financial
hardship and even then, the blessings poured in. One friend drove me to
Ann Arbor for doctor's appointments. She took days off work, wouldn't
let me pay for gas and even bought lunch on those trips. Another friend
had four new tires put on our van. Friends continued to bring meals or
gift cards to grocery stores. I remember one occasion when things were
really tight and food was scarce. A $300 Meijer gift card showed up in
our mail anonymously. God continued to put people in our lives who
cared for us in every way that we needed.
Even
now, over three years into this journey, God continues to show up. One
of the side effects of my disease is that I don't produce enough saliva
to keep the enamel on my teeth so they are ravaged and decayed. With
our seemingly insurmountable mountain of medical debt, dental work had
to take a back seat. But God came through again. My family took
exchange students when I was growing up and we recently reconnected with
the second student we had hosted. He came to visit in November and it
turns out he is a dentist. He has offered to do over $30,000 worth of
dental work for free. I will be heading to Germany for the work at the
end of February. And another friend is organizing a fundraiser to help with the
medical debt.
Every
single time I think that we can't be blessed more, God has shown up and
amazed me. He continues to supply "good measure, pressed down, shaken
together and running over".
God has also blessed us with some pretty amazing kids. It's so wonderful to see how much they are growing into their own personalities and how sweet, kind, generous and loving they are. I still can't get over the fact that we have two high schoolers now and our baby isn't too far behind.
Even with the "thorn in my side" of Sjogren's, I still feel blessed beyond measure. I always try to keep Paul's words in mind from 2 Corinthians: Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Sometimes it's harder to remember those words, especially during a Sjogren's flare like I currently have going. As anyone with SJS will tell you, winter is hard on us dry people. Our already dry eyes, noses, skin, lips, etc. get much more dry with a lack of humidity. My mouth has been sore and dry, my lips scabbed and bleeding. My poor right eyelid is red, swollen and scabbed at the eyelash line and my skin...well I've got lots of discoid dermatitis going on at the moment. My life consists of constant application of lip balm, a humidifier, prescription corticosteroid cream, warm compresses to my eye and LOTS of lotion and water.
I really will make an effort to keep up with this. But for now...it's nap time!
