Casting Anxieties

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  1 Peter 5:6-7

This verse should be my new motto.  I tend to be a worrywart....no actually, I am obsessive about worrying and planning if I am completely honest.  Since my illness began, I seem to have adopted a more relaxed, laid back attitude.  I'm not sure if that was more of a defense mechanism because I simply couldn't handle anything more, or if my illness showed me that all those worries were truly meaningless.  Either way, I've been cruising by without too much stress until recently.  Out of the blue, I'm swamped with worries.  Worrying about starting chemo, worrying about medical bills, about finances, about friends, about family members with illnesses, about teenagers, mothers, and things way beyond my control.  I wake up in the middle of the night every night (partially due to the steroids, but mainly, I think, due to the worries) and lie in bed with my mind racing.  In typical me mode, I try to make plans and determine the way that **I** can fix things.  Only I cannot fix anything.  My devotional keeps pounding me over the head with that knowledge, morning after morning.  

Yesterday it told me that God is the God of surprises and that He is not limited by the things I am limited by.

Jesus looked at them and said to them, "With men this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible."  Matthew 19:26

The day before that it told me "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4

And the day before that, I heard "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:8

Am I sensing a theme here?  Our family puts a weekly verse on our chalkboard fridge for memorization and this week's verse is "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path" Psalm 119:105  I need to take this to heart.  His Word is here to comfort and to guide me.  I need to learn to rely on it and on Him, and to stop trying to rely on myself.

 

Less is More

At the time of year where resolutions are still fresh and the need to clean, lose weight, get organized and start working out is strong, I am feeling a need to get down to the bare essentials.  It's more than just cleaning or organizing, it's the idea that we are way too attached to "stuff".  We may have a small house but we have a ton of stuff clogging it, crammed into every nook and cranny.  Things that we haven't used or even looked at for months, if not years.  

One of my goals for 2013 is to pare down our possessions.  Do I need two full sets of good china with crystal glasses?  Do we need a kids cupcake decorating kit that was only used once?  Does my son need all 56 Lego kits that he has crammed into his room?  The same Lego kits that haven't been touched since he discovered Skyrim and Minecraft?  Does my daughter need the piles of teeny-bopper magazines that my mother insists on buying for her?  No, no, no and no.  

The idea of tackling all of this is a bit overwhelming so I've decided to divide the house into sections and approach it one small portion at a time.  This week it's our main DVD rack and the hallway closet.  I'm going to divide things into four piles.  Sell, give away, throw away and keep.  I am going to get the entire family involved so that we are all invested in living a simpler life.  Jimmy & I are looking for ways to teach our children to be grateful and content with what they have and I believe that this is definitely one of the steps in that process.   

Blessings Abound

The last holiday season was quite dreary and sad for us in the Chase family.  I spent Christmas, New Years, my husband's birthday and my birthday all in the hospital.  Sometimes I wondered if my illness had a holiday magnet.  I also spent the Monday through Thursday before Easter in the hospital as well as the few days before Halloween this year.  Thankfully, we have been blessed this holiday season and I've managed to stay out of the hospital for each and every important day so far.  All that is left to weather is my birthday in a few weeks but that one doesn't concern me as much.

Last week we were able to ring in the New Year with some good friends and then my husband had his birthday off so we were able to celebrate it together quietly.  Originally we had planned on going out for dinner but we decided to stay in with some movies and dinner at home.  

In honor of Jimmy's birthday, I made his all time favorite meal...sausage and peppers.  

Sausage & Peppers (adapted from here)

 

2 packages hot Italian sausage

2 cans of tomato paste 

2 12 ounce bottles of beer

5-6 peppers, sliced (I usually use a combination of green & red bell peppers)

1.  Brown the sausage in a large skillet on the stove.  Don't worry about cooking them all the way through, just make sure they are evenly browned.

2.  Remove sausage and pour in both bottles of beer.  Stir up the sausage drippings and then add both cans of tomato paste.

3.  Add pepper slices, cover and let simmer until softened.

4.  While the peppers are simmering, slice the sausage into medallions.

5.  Add the the sausage to the pan and simmer with a lid on for about 15 to 20 minutes, or until the sausage is cooked through. 

Today is a return to routine and normalcy.  The kids are back to school, the hubby is back to work and I am back to being on my own at home.  It is times like these that I wished I homeschooled the kids.  At least I have the puggies to keep me company and a whole list of goals to achieve this year. 

The Brevity of Life

As we rang in the new year last night with some good friends, we received news of a loss.  Our friend's husband was killed in a car accident and she was informed shortly after midnight last night.  Death is always a surprise, even when you know it's coming, and this shock has hit like a punch in the gut.  In an instant, the lives of our friend and her young daughter have been shattered.  It is a reminder of how short life is and that tomorrow is never promised.  

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

As my friend faces the new year with this gaping loss, I pray that God gives her strength and courage.  My heart breaks for her and her daughter, and I pray that God uses the people in their lives to reach out and build them up. 

"A faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time." Titus 1:2